Having come up with the url for this blog in approximately 38 seconds of deep thought, I guess I should pay some lip service to zombies and attempt to increase people's awareness of them. By reading this blog, you will either:
A) Have a greater chance of survival once the hordes of the undead begin their endless prowl for a feast of human brains. Or;
B) Have wasted 3 minutes of your life that could otherwise have been spent baking a cake or browsing the internet for increasingly obscure pornography (hat tip Martyn).
My money's on the latter but what the hell. Somebody might pay head to my wise words and later come to appreciate the invaluable advice within. Sound in the knowledge that while their cake baking friends succumb to a ravaging mob of mindless dead people with particularly vociferous appetites, they're watching and laughing from the roof of their penthouse apartment, smoking a cigar and riding a horse called Victory.
In order to elongate this blogs life span and to attempt to keep at least some of my 8 loyal followers, I think I'll break this down in to sections:
Topic 1 will be about defining the zombie. Who are they and what is their motivation? We'll look to clarify some contentious areas that have arisen from recent films. For example, can zombies run? Can zombies, devoid of most "human" functions, learn to love? And would that amount to necrophilia?
Topic 2 will ready you for life in a post apocalyptic society. We'll look at favourable weapons and how to maximise your survival long term by choosing suitable shelters and vehicles.
Topic 3 will cover something zombie related, maybe. I don't know what yet. Maybe it will involve dolphins. There'll at least be some mention of unicorns.
Get ready for a series that takes you in to the unknown, preparing you for the (arguably) inevitable post apocalyptic zombie infestation and illuminating you with knowledge that you can share with your children over dinner one day.
Think of me as a Carl Sagan for the undead. Or, as a sad, bored and irrelevant time waster making your life that little bit more pointless.
Let the Journey of knowledge begin....
ReplyDeleteI hope you meant "pay heed".
ReplyDeleteI will follow the zombie thing just for the unicorn info. I LOVE unicorns. You have inspired me to potentially create a blog dedicated to unicorns. I almost bought a purple tie-die shirt at the Wild store in Mt Wellington. It had a majestic white unicorn standing staunch and proud in front of a rainbow. But then I realised that the statement it made was not worth $59.95. I should have saved all this for my unicorn blog. dammit.
ReplyDeleteThat would have made a decent opening blog for your unicorn page, sadly it's now my intellectual property. I'm thinking about calling my survival team "The Unicorns of Doom". We could use the t-shirts you found as uniforms.
ReplyDelete